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Survivors

Public Group active 4 years, 7 months ago ago

A group for survivors. Tell your stories and discuss your plans.

Well, at least I don’t have cancer. Ooops …sorry. (4 posts)

  • Profile picture of rick rick said 5 years, 11 months ago:

    There is nothing that does so much harm as good intentions.
    Milton Friedman
    1912 — 2006

    So. We’ve all said something we regret. But the number of times I’ve heard, “I know my situation is bad … but at least I don’t have cancer.” Upon remembering my wife has leukemia and I am a cancer care provider, the awkward silence is usually followed by, “Oops … sorry.”

    Has anyone else experienced one of those “oops” moments? Any thoughts on how to handle it?

  • Profile picture of Mary Hayes-Sharp Mary Hayes-Sharp said 5 years, 11 months ago:

    An Ooops…sorry moment happened to me. I was talking to a friend who had a friend diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer just like me. Her friend’s diagnosis occured about 2 years before mine. She was telling me about the type of treatment this gal had received at Johns Hopkins. Naturally I asked her how her friend was doing and she said she died, followed by asking hadn’t she told me that before. Nope, she hadn’t. Well, that ended the conversation, but certainly not the friendship.

  • Profile picture of Sarah Goslin Sarah Goslin said 5 years, 11 months ago:

    When my hubby was sick with brain cancer, I had quite a few experiences like Rick. I always felt bad for the person who said the ooops – knowing that inside they were probably beating themselves up over their comment. I did my best to make sure they knew I wasn’t offended in any way. I’ve also tried to learn from it. Think before you speak – we’ve all heard it before but how often do we really follow through? Cancer took a lot from my family and me but it also taught me too.

  • Profile picture of rick rick said 5 years, 11 months ago:

    I agree with Mary and Sarah. These moments are incredibly awkward. By nature, i generally try to lighten the mood with some wise crack. And not surprisingly ends to make the situation worse. Another technique defining “something worse than cancer” may inadvertently put someone else on the hotseat. I’ve found that forgiving and forgetting is the best in this circumstance. I also let them know the positives that cancer has allowed me: working with amazing people, the privilege of caring for those who inspire me, the recognition that life is a beautiful and fragile gift which deserves to be cherished every day . Little else can do all that.